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Archive | Marriage

A Lament for Sally (and the rest of us)

There is a difference between freedom and autonomy (literally, self-law).  Freedom allows flourishing within a defined context conducive to life.  To bloom bright and beautiful, flowers are “constrained” by their need for water, good soil, and sun.  Autonomy demands the right to redefine terms and refuse any restraint.  Pop culture and political activists in black robes have made it clear:  We demand autonomy.  No fixed definitions for social institutions and therefore none for us as individuals.  We demand the right to self-define, no matter whose freedom gets trampled in the process and no matter who gets hurt, including ourselves. As we will increasingly see, but will likely keep refusing to learn, self-definition is self-destruction.

The following satire is barely hyperbolic.  As these recent articles show – doctors in Belgium to kill healthy 24 year old  and  Aggressive pursuit of the right to die – this scenario is now nightmarishly close to materializing.    

Homosexuality: A Losing Battle?

Guest Blogger: Michael LeFebvre 

Dr. LeFebvre is the pastor of Christ Church on the west side on Indianapolis, IN, and editor of The Gospel and Sexual Orientation. This post was originally given as a talk in January of 2014 and has an audio link at the bottom of this article.

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The title for this morning’s workshop points our thoughts in two directions. The title is, “Homosexuality: A Losing Battle?” This question confronts us on two levels.

First, and in my view most importantly, it confronts us on the personal level. For those who personally experience this battle, it can often feel hopeless. The phrase that we hear so often today, and that captures this feeling of hopelessness, is the phrase, “You cannot pray the gay away.” That popular phrase communicates hopelessness to those who experience same-sex temptations. Furthermore, by citing prayer as the cure that fails (“you cannot pray the gay away”), that popular phrase is a direct challenge to the church—indeed, to Christ as the one who has let us down. In the face of such a message, how is a Christian caught in this battle to feel? Is this battle, faced on the personal level, a losing battle?

Secondly, this question […]

Openness, Unhindered by Rosaria Butterfield

In these “trans-whatever” times, our world is so very confused about identity.  Following hot on the (high) heels of Bruce Jenner introducing himself as Caitlyn, we now have the spectacle of Rachel Dolezal.  She is the president of the local Spokane NAACP chapter who, turns out, is not the African-American-with-multiple-racial-hate-crimes-committed-against-her that she claimed to be.  As one writer asks in the title of his article, “If Rachel Dolezal Isn’t Black, How Is Caitlyn Jenner A Woman?“.   One can only imagine what further jumbling of identity the next news cycle will bring.

Oh, that a voice of clarity with charity might speak into this muddled mess!

One has.

Following the great interest created by her first book, The Secret Thought of an Unlikely Convert, the autobiographical story of her journey from being a leftist lesbian professor to a follower of Christ, Rosaria Butterfield has now written Openness, Unhindered.  In a work that could not be more timely, written in her engaging and compassionate prose, Rosaria offers a clear-minded treatise on what true identity is (including but not limited to sexual identity) and how it is to be discovered and nurtured.  With great depth of insight into the inner heart battles all men and women share; interaction with a […]

Should I start a relationship with a non-Christian?

Last night I was speaking to a Christian Union meeting at our local university about dating and marriage. One of the perennial problems that many young people fall into is getting into relationships with non-Christians. I was exhorting these students to realise that going out with a non-Christian is not an option for the believer. Because dating is a stepping stone to marriage, what the Bible says about whom we may marry applies to whom we may date as well. 1 Corinthians 7.39: A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But even if someone refuses to accept that this command applies to pre-marriage relationships, at best it is incredibly foolish and unloving for a Christian to date a non-Christian. Here are a few points to reinforce this…

1. Dating a non-Christian is incredibly short-sighted. What happens if he doesn’t become a Christian? Even if you can persuade yourself that it is somehow OK to date an unbeliever, you can’t kid yourself that’s it’s OK to marry him/her unless you rip 1 Corinthians 7.39 out of the Bible. So at […]

The Quest for the Historical Adam

Our friend, Dr. William VanDoodewaard of Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary and The Christian Pundit, has just published a work entitled The Quest for the Historical Adam.  In this day of increasing attacks on the Bible’s authority, Adam is now portrayed as a mythological figure even by those calling themselves evangelicals. Bill has done meticulous historical and theological research that validates the orthodox teaching regarding Adam and explains why anyone believing in the gospel of Jesus Christ must also believe in the reality of Adam.

Listen to Bill’s further explanation for the book in the video below, and then read Al Mohler’s forward that follows.  To pre-order the book at a discounted rate, go here.

Al Mohler’s Forward

Each generation of Christians faces its own set of theological challenges. For this generation of evangelicals, the question of beginnings is taking on a new urgency. In fact, this question is now a matter of gospel urgency. How are we to understand the Bible’s story if we can have no confidence that we know how it even begins?

In terms of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the most urgent question related to beginnings has to do with the existence of Adam and Eve as the first parents to all humanity and […]

A Godward Look at Divorce and Remarriage

Divorce. It’s an awful word. There’s some words in the English language that evoke pleasant thoughts and happy images. Divorce isn’t one of them. In fact, for me, there’s few words in the dictionary that conjure up such troublesome connotations. When I hear “divorce” I think of broken hearts, broken families, broken homes, broken children–broken promises. If there’s anything in our society that demonstrates the human heart’s propensity to lie, it’s divorce.

Recently, Gentle Reformation was asked to address the issue of divorce and remarriage. When I was training to be a pastor the problems leading to and resulting from divorce were, in my mind, thought to be some of the most challenging and difficult. This isn’t a fine point of theology we can afford to discuss in an ivory tower or fireside chat. Divorcees aren’t faceless strangers–they’re co-workers, friends, family and church members. But a commitment to Jesus and “all that he commanded” must compel us to speak with clarity, sensitivity, and compassion into a culture that’s addicted to divorce.

Of course one of the difficulties are all the what ifs. There’s a thousand seemingly hopeless scenarios where divorce almost seems to be the only option. But before one can be […]

What Has Love Got to Do With It?

When John writes, ‘Beloved, let us love one another’, what does he mean, and does it matter?  Is it not a bit liberal to be writing about love on a Reformation blog post.  Surely we are about ‘Doctrine, Truth, Discipline, Stewardship etc.’   Well, yes we are, but God says, if we don’t get what love is and do it, we are sunk, regardless of how outwardly correct we may appear to be.

What does John mean when he says, ‘Let us love one another?’   Well we need to begin with a definition of love?  We can’t take the Humpty Dumpty route who, when having a discussion with Alice about the meaning of words says, “when I use a word, it means what I choose it to mean, nothing more or nothing less.”  Love can’t be a word that we use and abuse dependent on what we want it to mean, or who we want it to influence or effect.

So what does ‘love’ mean?  Well there is a very simple and clear definition of ‘love’.  It is found in the root source of ‘love’.  Trace ‘love’ to its source, and there you will find God, for God is love.  ‘Love’ is neither an attribute […]

What If I Don’t Think My Spouse is a Christian?

The Bible is clear that a Christian should only marry a Christian. We gather that from where the Lord warned the people of Israel not to “make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land to which you go, lest it become a snare in your midst” (Exodus 34:12). Also, Paul instructs us not to be “unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14), and he reminds the widow that she is “free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39). Certainly this wasn’t intended to squash our love life, but it’s intended by God for our good. I can remember someone once telling me about their non-Christian spouse, how exceedingly sorrowful it was to wake up every morning next to a spiritual corpse. Indeed, I can think of few things more burdensome in this life than to be unequally yoked–to marry someone who doesn’t share convictions on truth, life, and eternity.

But I’ve also encountered people who thought they were marrying a Christian only to wonder, sometime later, if they’d been mistaken. From my limited experience this isn’t as uncommon as we might think. As we slip into the day-to-day routine of life, share in […]