/ communication / Jared Olivetti

So We Can Talk More Good

I was reviewing parts of Wayne Mack's Strengthening Your Marriage and came across this helpful list of "twelve practical suggestions for developing and maintaining good marital communications." I believe it would apply well to other relationships as well. (If you don't have it, Mack's book is a great resource for couples - please consider buying and using it!)

  1. When there are problems, each must be willing to admit that he/she is part of the problem. (Gen. 8:8-19; Pro. 20:6)

  2. Each person must be willing to change. (John 5:6; Mt. 5:23-26)

  3. Avoid the use of emotionally charged words. "You don't really love me." "You _always _do..." "You _never _do anything right." "I don't care."

  4. Be responsible for your own emotions, words, actions, and reactions. Don't blame them on the other person. You got angry, lashed out, became depressed, etc. (Gal. 6:5; Jas. 1:13-15)

  5. Refrain from having reruns on old arguments. (Eph. 4:26)

  6. Deal with one problem at a time. Solve one problem and then move on to the next. (Mt. 6:34)

  7. Deal in the present and not in the past. Hang a "no fishing" sign over the past unless it will help you to solve your present problems. (Phil. 3:12-14; Jer. 31:34; Isa. 43:25)

  8. Major on the positive instead of majoring on the negative. (Phil. 4:8)

  9. Learn to communicate in non-verbal ways. (Mt. 8:1-2, 14-15; Ps.32:8)

  10. Express your thoughts and concerns to each other. Relate your activities. Listen, understand and respond to the meaning behind what a person is saying... (John 1:45-57; Mark 5:1-15; John 11:20-35)

  11. Practice the golden rule - Matthew 7:12. What would you like your mate to do to you?...

  12. Practice the principle laid down in Luke 6:35 ."Do good - do that which will help others; and lend expecting and hoping for nothing in return."

Jared Olivetti

Jared Olivetti

I'm a pastor at Immanuel RPC in West Lafayette, Indiana. God has blessed me with a wonderful wife, six kids and a loving church family.

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