We all know a few Me Monsters. And if we’re honest, we’ll do just about anything to avoid getting caught by one at Wal-Mart- even abandon carts or children to slip down a side aisle. Commando crawling isn’t out of the question.
But anyway, I kind of feel bad for Me Monsters. They’re usually nice people. It’s just that they can’t stop talking about some particular point of interest. Forty five minutes later you’re still nodding, standing there, waiting for that small crack of a moment to initiate your departure. But “Oh, wait... I missed it! No! I missed! They’ve turned a corner to a new topic!!!”
I can’t help but think that Me Monsters are ultra lonely or neglected somehow. But then again maybe it’s not that. Maybe it’s just selfishness? But could it really be the case that they simply don’t care about the lives of others?
Surely not. Then again...
The truth is that we all harbor the Me Monster. It’s in there, lurking, creeping about, waiting to spring out, “You-Me! You-Me! See the difference!”
Now in saying this I don’t want to reduce the concept of Me Monster to a denominator so low and wide that it loses all meaning. Me Monsters are real. I’ve met them. But it’s also true that I’ve found myself on more than one occasion hunching and grimacing like David Banner as the Me Monster bursts the buttons on my shirt.
So it’s like a lot of sins. It’s a universal problem that manifests itself more acutely in certain personalities.
None of us want to think of ourselves as Me Monsters. And most aren’t full-fledged conversationalist Me Monsters. Nevertheless, it’s worth pausing and examining the Me Monster checklist afresh. Test yourself.
Four signs that you might be a Me Monster:
- For every ten sentences uttered, does at least one end with a question mark? If not, then you might be a Me Monster.
- When someone else is talking about their children, do you feel an intense desire to tase them so that you can launch into a fifteen minute story about your own kids? If so, you might be a Me Monster.
- When you bump into acquaintances or friends at Wal-Mart, do they look five years older when they get a chance to talk? If so, you might be a Me Monster.
- Do you think Paul was joking when he wrote, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others”? If so, you just might be a Me Monster.
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