LORD, My Heart Is Not Haughty

LORD, my heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, nor with things too profound for me (Psalm 131:1). By Voice of Fear

I don’t understand your providence! Why was my birth the result of sexual immorality? Why didn’t I get the promotion at work? Why did I have to wait decades to fulfill my dream of finally becoming a parent? Why does my child have a lifelong disability?

LORD, my heart is not haughty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, nor with things too profound for me. By Voice of Hope

LORD, when I consider Your providence, I am in awe. I don’t understand why I continue to struggle with this chronic pain, why daily tasks are increasingly difficult for me, and why my children have distanced themselves from me. Yet perhaps the answers to these questions is not the most important thing. Perhaps the most important thing is that I have a humble and teachable heart. My life has become a wilderness, and yet I can see flowers here and there. I see myself loving You more because of my trials, and I know You are near.

LORD, my heart is not haughty.

I just don’t understand why You spared my life in that horrible accident. Why keep me alive only to experience debilitating pain for the rest of my life? Don’t You realize that I can’t serve You well this way? Was there some great thing You have left for me to do? If there is, why don’t You just let me know what it is, so that I can make sure to get it done?

LORD, my heart is not haughty.

Only Jesus can fully pray this prayer with truth and sincerity. He understood His place above the universe very clearly – after all, He created it! Yet He did not cling to His honor, power, and glory, but “made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross” (Philippians 5:7-8). When I sense the haughtiness of my own heart and question Your love for me, I will look to the cross. I will claim His righteousness as my own, and I will rejoice in my Savior and what He has done for me.

Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul.

Okay, I don’t understand Your providence. But at least I can rejoice in the daily blessings You send my way. I have food to eat, clothes to wear, and clean water to drink. I guess I’ll accept what I have.

Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul.

There are always more questions to ask, more things I do not understand. I can look at the state of the world, my country, and my church, and wonder why the wicked triumph. I can seek to understand the problem of evil. Yet in the midst of all these questions, I will simply calm and quiet my soul to trust in You to work all things out for my good and Your glory.

Like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.

A weaned child doesn’t get the gifts from his mother that he wants. No, let me rephrase that: a weaned child doesn’t get the gifts from his mother that he needs. But how am I supposed to be like a weaned child? Don’t You know that I can’t just be content with whatever You throw my way in life? I have feelings and emotions too!

Like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.

As a weaned child no longer demands the gift of his mother’s milk, but simply glories in her presence, so I will glory in Your presence, O LORD, and not demand Your gifts. When I suffer pain and inability to do what I would like, I will rejoice in You, You who love me not for what I can accomplish, but simply for who I am –  Your child. When I am rejected and forsaken by others, I will trust in You, who will never leave me nor forsake me. When I have looked at my life and found it lacking, I will look to You and find that You are enough.

O Israel, hope in the LORD from this time forth and forevermore.

I don’t know what heaven will be like. What will I eat? What will I wear? What job will I have? I guess I’ll just believe that it will be perfect, with no more pain – and it can’t get here soon enough for me!

O Israel, hope in the LORD from this time forth and forevermore.

You, O LORD, are the shining glory, the brilliant center, and the only reason for heaven. No more sin, crying, or sickness are wonderful, yet what I really long for is to see You. To see You, in all Your glory. You, with unveiled face. You, my Savior, Lover, Redeemer, Friend. I’m so thrilled to have forever with You. LORD, I hope in You!