The Strength of Gentleness

The following is a guest post from, Zachary Groff, the pastor of Antioch Presbyterian Church in Woodruff, South Carolina. For a fuller article by Pastor Groff on this subject, see Great Men of Meekness.

After a couple of weeks of dealing with head-splitting braggadocio and one-upmanship on social media (mostly X), a healthy dose of Christlike gentleness might help cleanse the timeline a bit...

Gentleness is often misunderstood. When we think of a man being gentle, we might picture some guy being weak or timid, but that’s not what gentleness truly means. In fact, gentleness is a strength of character—a willingness to humble ourselves and put others first, even when we have the power to act differently. Many great men throughout history have displayed gentleness in remarkable ways, showing us that true greatness is not about asserting power but about choosing humility and self-control.

The Bible has a lot to say about gentleness. Jesus Christ is described as being "gentle and lowly in heart" (Matt. 11:29). He had all power and authority as God, yet He chose to serve others rather than demand respect. He lived a life of perfect gentleness, teaching us that gentleness doesn’t mean weakness but strength under control. The quiet intensity of self-control is severely lacking in so-called "Reformed social media."

The apostle Paul also described gentleness as a critical character trait for Christians to develop. In his letters, he called believers to be "clothed with humility" and to "bear with one another" in love (Col. 3:12). Paul himself displayed gentleness: not using his authority to control others, but rather leading by example, putting the needs of others before his own, and demonstrating compassion for the weaker brother.

Gentleness doesn’t mean being passive or weak. Instead, it’s about having the strength to control one’s emotions and actions, especially in difficult situations. It’s choosing humility over pride and service over selfishness. It’s also about using our power and influence in ways that help others rather than in ways that seek to control them.

In a world filled with self-appointed "big men" asserting power and preeminence over others, the Christian virtue of gentleness reminds us that true strength comes down to lowly, little us from heaven above. When received by men with humility, this celestial strength is gentle, patient, and kind in properly masculine ways. Great leaders throughout history have shown that gentleness is a powerful force. It’s not about standing back, being passive, or doing nothing but about acting with wisdom, patience, and love.

Men marked by gentleness inspire us all to be humble, to listen up, and to act with decisive kindness. By doing so, we can build each other up rather than put or tear each other down.