Thoughts on Suicide

Suicide has been a thing in my life. By thing, I mean that it has deeply affected who I am as a person. I think about suicide often—not meaning that I want to take my own life, because I don’t. I think about suicide because it has been a part of my life through the death of people around me. 

The first time I remember hearing about suicide was when I was a child as my parent’s friend, Tim committed suicide. I remember the pain that was on the faces of his wife and daughters as well as the deep hurt my parents experienced at the death of their friend. 

In high school two friends committed suicide: Mark and David. They were very young and now that I am passing my mid-40s on the way to a bigger number, sometimes I think of them and how their problems and darknesses may have seemed so small twenty-something years later. I think of these friends often.

In June of 2023, my cousin lost his lovely wife to suicide and just this past week mid-December 2024, my cousin died by suicide. Cassandra and Jacob were both passionate, intelligent, and loved people—and yet the darkness was just too dark for them.


The Psalmist asks in the beginning of Psalm 13:

How long will you forget me, O Lord?
Forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Tim. 

Mark. 

David. 

Cassandra. 

Jacob.



Is there hope in the midst of this darkness? 

Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States, according to the CDC. Suicide in rural areas is much more prevalent than in urban and suburban areas. This has been my pastoral experience as well—it is a major rural problem.

Last year roughly 50,000 Americans died by suicide—and over 13 million had thoughts of self-death with 1.6 million acting on those thoughts. White males in rural areas are the leaders when it comes to suicide death. Suicide rates among Native Americans is also very, very high.

As our culture moves further away from biblical truth, losing a biblical doctrine of man—including the image of God, the dignity of all human life, a redeemable humanity, and the like—suicides will rise and continue to rise. 

Is there hope in this midst of this darkness?

The Psalmist goes on in Psalm 13 to say: 

  

Consider and hear me, O Lord my God:
enlighten my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death.

What insights from the Bible and from the teaching of the Scriptures can we use to “enlighten my eyes” concerning suicide?

The Biblical Witness

There are not many examples of people committing suicide in the Bible. Interestingly, the Bible comments little on the ethics of the act, but does record when the act occurs. Surely, suicide is a sin, as sin is defined by a lack of conformity to the law of God or transgressing the law of God. Suicide is a violation of the sixth commandment (thou shalt not kill), and according to the Westminster Larger Catechism this command forbids “all taking away the life of ourselves, or of others, except in case of public justice, lawful war, or necessary defence…”

There are six examples of suicide in the Bible:

Abimelech was the son of Gideon. During a time of war he had a millstone dropped on him, resulting in serious bodily injury. To avoid capture and the suffering of injury, he commanded one of his men to kill him with a sword. This can be found in Judges 9:50-57.



Samson is a well-known Bible character. The end of Samson’s life he is blinded, captured, and tied to pillars in expectation of humiliation by his captors. Samson’s life ends by praying for strength and pulling down the pillars resulting in the death of his captors and himself. This can be found in Judges 16:28–30. 



Saul, like Abimelech before him, was wounded in war and asked his armor bearer to kill him as to avoid capture. His armor bearer did not comply, so Saul took his sword and killed himself. This is told in a few places: First Samuel 31:1–6; Second Samuel 1:1–15; and First Chronicles 10:1–13. 



Ahithophel was a counselor to King David. He eventually participated in a failed rebellion, resulting in him seeing the only way out of the conflict was through hanging himself. This is found in Second Samuel 17:23. 



Zimri was one of the kings of Israel. His reign only lasted seven days due to a season of turmoil. When it seemed that there was no hope left, he burned his house down with him inside. You can read about that in First Kings 16:18–19.



The New Testament only has one instance of suicide. Judas Iscariot, betrayer of the Lord committed suicide after being overwhelmed with guilt for his participation in the arrest of the Lord Jesus Christ. Matthew 27:5 and Acts 1:18–20 record these events. Judas hanged himself and was dismembered through a providential mishap in his attempt.

The Psalmist says: 



Consider and hear me, O Lord my God
lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death
Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him
and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved.

The Scriptures do not shy away from saying whether one died of suicide, but there are various pastoral matters that must be thought through when considering suicide’s affect on a family and loved ones. 



Pastoral Matters


Suicide is a pastoral conundrum. I have counseled the young and the old concerning the matter of suicidal ideation. Even recently, counsel has been given related to a desire for one to take his or her own life. Many questions come up. Here are a few of them:


Is suicide unforgivable? Suicide is sin as we noted above. It is a violation of the sixth commandment and ought not to be a legitimate escape from pain, trials, hardship, depression, or to avoid consequences. The sinfulness of suicide however does not mean that it is unforgivable. The Lord Jesus Christ says that all types of sin will be forgiven, except for blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (see Matthew 12:22-32 and Mark 3:22–30). Suicide is heinous, but it is not unforgivable.



Do people that commit suicide go to hell? This question is more difficult because all sinners who are not resting in Jesus Christ for salvation will go to hell. All sinners must be justified before God through faith in Jesus Christ. Faith in Jesus Christ is a saving grace, whereby we receive and rest upon Him alone for salvation, as he is offered to us in the gospel. John Owen once said, "There is no condition so desperate, no sin so heinous, but that it is pardonable through the blood of Christ, and no soul so weak that cannot be upheld by his power."



Can a Christian commit suicide? Yes, a Christian can commit suicide, but a Christian ought not to commit suicide. Not only is suicide sin, but it also brings shame on Christ and his Word. Ruth Graham, Billy Graham’s wife, once was asked: “What does God say to a Christian who’s committed suicide?” She—in Ruth Bell Graham fashion—replied: “I once heard someone say, ‘God did not call her home, but He welcomed her.’” Suicide is against the revealed will of God. John Calvin said, "We are not our own masters, but belong to God... Therefore we ought not to hasten our death or take it upon ourselves through despair, but await the Lord’s timing, which is determined by his providence.” (Institutes, 3.9.)

What is the root cause of suicide? Suicide happens for many reasons. From anger, hatred, and rage to depression and despair, suicide is often seen as a last resort to an issue unresolved. My pastoral opinion is that conflict leading to despair proves to be the final straw for the one who commits suicide. In Richard Baxter’s Christian Directory, he says, "Despair is a grievous sin... But remember, despair is a willful turning away from God, who is able to save to the uttermost." He goes on to instruct those considering suicide by saying: ”Convince them of the riches of God’s mercy in Christ... Bid them look upon the crucified Savior and see the love of God in Him.” Despair is real and deep. Christ’s riches are deeper.

Will suicide make the pain to stop? No. Pain will not stop if one commits suicide. The pain will be extended and multiplied into the hearts and lives of those you are leaving behind. The pain of suicide literally never goes away for those left behind. Thomas Brooks said, "Satan loves to fish in troubled waters. He delights to see saints doubting, perplexed, and discouraged... But God is near to the brokenhearted.” Take that broken heart to God first—allow him to heal the troubled waters. 



How do I grieve, despite the guilt? Suicide leaves behind a whole host of post-suicide thoughts and “what-ifs.” What if I this? What if I that? Many will convince themselves that if they saw something or said something that the death would not have happened. Ed Welch, in a CCEF article from 2016 said, “Suicide leaves a broad wake of regrets. Hindsight causes us to think of dozens of things we could have done differently. The reality is that we are people who can control very little.” Suicide is not your fault, therefore the guilt you feel or experience is not your guilt. Give it to Christ who will bear it. 



Resources Available


There are several useful resources related to suicide. CCEF, the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation, has several helpful booklets that are filled with advice and information rooted in the Scriptures: 



Suicide: Understanding and Intervening by Jeffrey S. Black.

Grieving a Suicide: Help for the Aftershock by David Powlison

I Just Want to Die: Replacing Suicidal Thoughts with Hope by David Powlison

Teens and Suicide: Recognizing the Signs and Sharing Hope by Julie Lowe



If you are unable to get these resources, please call your local pastor. If you have no-one in the world, please call 988, the national suicide hotline.

Ultimately there is help and there is hope. 


The Psalmist concludes Psalm 13 with these words of hope: 



But I have trusted in thy mercy;
my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation.
I will sing unto the Lord,
because he hath dealt bountifully with me.

There is hope in God’s mercy. The despair does not need to be without gospel light.