Quit Ye Like Men: A Plea for Men's Breakfast
Once a month twenty to thirty-some men and boys of all ages enter the fellowship hall with a book and Bible in one hand and breakfast food to share in the other. We have breakfast, catch up on the latest social or political happenings, then we spend an hour and a half discussing a chapter from a book we have been reading together. We rotate leadership through volunteers and occasionally the teens will lead but ask an older man to help prepare in advance.
Men’s breakfast is a very special time of discipling one another. Men and young men get to know each other, challenge each other in duties, and encourage each other in our walk with Christ.
Men in “male-only spaces” is a largely becoming a thing of the past. This is the reality in which we live: we are running out of male-only spaces, which is to our hurt. The Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 16:13, “…act like men…” (or quit ye like men in the AV), and this is cultivated man-to-man and we need an outlet to grow in these ways. In our nation, male friendship and male club participation are in decline. We have very few male gathering opportunities which develop future leadership, friendship, and accountability. Male depression and isolation are on the rise. Young men are turning to online “male mentorship” at alarming rates. Boys often never see older men speaking about spiritual matters in depth. Men need to be able to talk freely about our particular sins, challenges, and duties.
Could your church help in all these areas by starting a monthly men’s breakfast? Yes! It can.
Over the past five years we have read the following books:
Godly Man’s Picture by Thomas Watson
Crisis of Confidence by Carl Truman
The Beauty and Glory of the Christian Worldview by Joel Beeke
A Scottish Christian Heritage by Iain Murray
The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs
This week we begin A Treatise on the Law and Gospel by John Colquhoun.
Each of these books have challenged us in different ways and have assisted in male discipleship at a local level. We have studied what godliness looks like; the need for confessional fidelity; Christian worldview; biographies of reformed believers; and other aspects of doctrine, piety, and worship. God has blessed these breakfasts with constant attendance, a varied demographic (older men, newly married men, middle-aged men, singles, young men, teens, boys), and a willingness to dive into the Scriptures and reformed theological principles encouraging us in our walks. Visitors have often commented on how rare an hour-plus discussion on theological topics is in the church today.
So why should you ask your pastor and elders to begin a men’s ministry in your local church?
Men’s Breakfast Encourages Men to Read Theological Books
Many men in our churches work hard during the week, are faithful in reading their Bibles, attending church, and raising their families. How many though are reading theological books? Often I hear, “I wish I had time to read more.” Over 30% of men in the USA will not open a book this year. Men’s breakfast encourages slow, careful, accountable reading of a good book.
Men’s Breakfast Deepens Men's Knowledge of God
The greatest need of every Christian man is to know God more fully. Reading sound theological books helps men think God's thoughts after him and grow in their love for Christ. Good theological books help to organize thoughts, know categories of theology, and make connections to Christ and his Word. The Apostle Peter says in 2 Peter 3, "Grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
Men’s Breakfast Helps to Equip Men to Lead Their Homes
Husbands and fathers are called to lead spiritually. Discussing theology together better equips men to teach their families, answer difficult questions, and shepherd those under their care. Young men watch, hear, and will model the men who they know. Men’s breakfast aids in this home life accountability and discipleship component.
Men’s Breakfast Cultivates Christian Friendship
Men often build friendships best while doing something together. Sharing breakfast and discussing a good book creates meaningful fellowship centered on Christ rather than other shared interests. It is good for men to get together in other contexts: shooting, fishing, boating, meme-sharing (?), and other things, but Men’s Breakfast focusing on discussing theological truth is our topic. Friendship is strengthened at these gatherings. "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17
Men’s Breakfast Trains our Young Men How to Think Biblically
Theological books teach men how to evaluate culture, politics, family life, work, leisure, and church life through the lens of Scripture instead of the spirit of the age. Young men, who are developing their worldview, will benefit from hearing how the older men navigate a fallen world through the lens of Scripture. Let’s face it: the Zoomers need the Boomers and Boomers need the Zoomers. Men’s Breakfast naturally brings generations together to hear how we live in a fallen world.
Men’s Breakfast Will Develop Future Leaders
Many elders, pastors, deacons, Sabbath School teachers, and other leaders first learn to articulate biblical truth in informal settings such as Men’s Breakfast. Reading together and discussing prepares men for greater service in Christ's church. Dr. Jerry O’Neill (late president-emeritus of the Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary), used to tell me to look for opportunities to “commit to faithful men.” This was a reference to 2 Timothy 2, of course: “And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” 2 Timothy 2:2. Men’s Breakfast affords young men the opportunity to demonstrate teaching ability and teachability. Both are essential in leaders.
Men’s Breakfast Will Encourage Accountability
Meeting regularly allows men to ask one another how they are applying what they read and to discuss the things of God. Men have particular challenges, sins, duties, etc. that are best discussed in a male-only space. Men’s Breakfast encourages men to know one other and to hold one another accountable for their Christian profession.
Conclusion
The Apostle Paul wrote to Titus: “But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience … Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.”
Men’s Breakfast will prove to be valuable in your congregation. The objective is not merely to help men read more books, but to help men know the God of the Bible.
Be consistent: once monthly on the same day works (ours is the 4th Saturday of every month).
Be simple: don’t overcomplicate it, bring a dish to share and discuss a chapter.
Be purposeful: the point is to discuss a theological book together as men.
Be respectful: have a start time and an end time. Respect the time of the men of your church.
Be encouraged: not all will participate, but show the value of Men’s Breakfast.
